This holiday season many may find that they are without someone to enjoy the holidays with. There are many options available with lots of parties and events to engage in fun and cozy times. For those that are single or in between relationships there are many social choices to make. This brings us to the subject of expectations. As I have mentioned in previous blogs the dating process is not for the faint of heart. It is important to go into this arena with the right attitude. I have heard so many horror stories from friends, family, and acquaintances of the trials and tribulations of dating. (Especially internet dating!) In order to travel this treacherous and yet wonderful path of meeting and greeting, which can be both exciting and nerve-racking, one must enter the entire process with the right attitude.

Dating websites allow people to connect with people they never would have met dating conventionally. With such a diverse group of people on these social networking sites your never sure what your going to get. Men and women usually see things differently, a dear friend of mine has a strong stance on how dating should go. From this perceptive males point of view, too many people begin the process with expectations that lead them down the slippery hill into dating hell. He believes that if you spend more time than two phone conversations before you actually meet, that you then fall into the jaws of the false expectations pit by building up in your mind a fantasy person. Although internet photos are exchanged and some of your deepest, darkest secrets are exposed to one another, you still have no clue who you are really dealing with until you meet face to face. My male friends answer to this false expectation dilemma is that one must absolutely meet if not for anything more than a cup of coffee and a half hour of each others time by the end of the second phone conversation.

With busy work schedules for both men and women, long distance relationships have become more popular. A good friend met a guy online and after countless emails and phone calls they just had to meet each other. After all of their conversation on the phone and via email she thought he was different, but by the end of their day together he was acting cold because she would not go back to his hotel room. To his dismay, no exotic holiday cupcakes on the menu that evening. The evening will go down in history as one of her most distasteful dating experiences ever. What were the red flags for dating disaster here? In this case, both parties expectations failed. She was expecting a well-educated gentleman; he was expecting a POA (piece of ass).

Dating is an exercise to get to know new people, it is imperative that you properly portray yourself and let the other individual know your agenda for the relationship. By being upfront with the other person it starts a good foundation for a relationship that will hopefully blossom over time. As long as you know that you have truthfully posted recent and accurate photos (both parties), are within three years of your actual age posted online, and don’t have a current or ex-lover in your closet at home you should be able to enjoy this wonderful season with a date or two that wont end up in the Guinness Book of Records for worst holiday date ever.

Marriage counseling has much to offer a troubled relationship. The counselor provides the couple with objectivity and professionalism. This will not be biased by kinship or years of friendship. Counseling is a tool that assists couples to achieve a stronger marriage and a more enjoyable life.

Marriage counseling will provide you the necessary tools to have a successful marriage, but you have to be willing to work with those tools in order to succeed. Marriage counselors will help you define a road map and help you and your spouse as you hit the occasional bumps and pot holes, but it’s up to you to reach your destination of a happy marriage.

1. Your spouse must be willing to go to marriage counseling and willing to work on the issues together. Otherwise, your chances of achieving success through marriage counseling are slim.

2. Try to keep and open mind. It will be difficult, but try to get out of the “right and wrong” mindset. The marriage counselor will not point out that you are right and your spouse is wrong. They will offer an objective viewpoint and show you ways that you can improve your marriage.

3. Be willing to change what you are doing. If what you are doing currently in your marriage is not working, changes will need to be made. This might refer to a simple behavior, or it could be a significant life-changing behavior. Don’t be under any illusions. This can be difficult. But the potential rewards can be great.

4. Give it time. Slow down. Marriage counseling assists couples overcome significant events and actions in their lives. This is not something that can done overnight. To undertake effective marriage counseling, the professional needs to understand each partner and the relationship dynamics. It all takes time.

5. Speak the whole truth and nothing but… Don’t hide your feelings because your afraid of conflict. Some conflict in a marriage is healthy as long as your respectful of the other persons feelings. You’ll need to be able to express your feelings freely in the marriage counseling session in order to reap the most benefit from it.

Alcohol Addiction and marriage do not tend to co-exist harmoniously. Alcoholism can be devastating to a relationship, resulting in a great deal of problems for a relationship. Often, untreated Alcoholism can lead to divorce because alcohol abuse can as well lead to physical or even sexual abuse, as well as verbal abuse. If you are in a relationship where your partner takes in a great deal of alcohol, you really need to be cautious.

If you married someone who never had problems with alcohol prior to the wedding, there may be a connection between the recently occurring Alcohol Addiction and marriage. Should this be the case, you should try to find the underlying cause of the problem and take steps to correct it. Even correcting the problem will not make the Alcoholism vanish, rather it will help your partner recover slowly but consistently.

While Alcoholism and marriage do not often mix well, it is important that you do not forget that Alcohol Addiction is a disease. Similar to smoking, Alcoholism is the development of a dependency to alcohol. Relinquishing drinking is very similar to having to quit smoking, which need years to be perfected. Just like smoking, all it takes to relapse a recovering alcoholic is just one drink. Because of this, you will have to be careful the way you go about the subject, as many alcoholics will not admit that they have a problem. This is usually the battle that results in couples splitting, because the person who is the alcoholic will often take umbrage when it is suggested that he or she drinks too much.

Assuming you are engaged with somebody who has always been an alcoholic, Alcohol Addiction and marriage may not have as baleful consequences. This is partly due to the fact that the Alcohol Addiction is acknowledged and accepted prior to vows being exchanged. While the consequences may not be as dire, it is very important that you fathom that the situation may change when you move in together. Although most women and men want to believe that they can change their spouse for the better,this is not always the case

Marriage counseling may be required to make a relationship involving Alcoholism work. Even though you can’t compel your partner to discontinue drinking, you can try to ensure that you two share a comfortable lifestyle together. Imposing change will only cause problems. ForcingCompelling your spouse to attend alcoholics anonymous or another group may breed resentment, which turn love into ill-will and lead to divorce.